Sunday, August 9, 2015

I Disappeared...Again

This is going to kind of a long post and I'll try not to bore you all to death, but I have a few things I just NEED to say.  Also please excuse me if everything seems to be all over the place. I am not the best when it comes to discussing things in an organized manner, but I'll try though. Oh, and don't be surprised if you see some adorable cats popping in once in awhile. :p

Anyway, getting to the point, at the beginning of this year I did a similar post like this (you can read it HERE) and it was basically me pointing out some of the things I realized about my blog and my resolutions to make it better.  

Needless to say, I absolutely failed at that.  When I stared this blog, I was beyond excited and all I could think about was how fun and great it's going to be to finally interact with other bookworms like me.  But soon afterwards, somewhere along the way, I lost sight of why I had created this blog in the first place.  

Lets start with my posts. Instead of focusing on my love for books and writing posts that I really wanted to, I started worrying about making sure everything was "PERFECT" and what people would think about my posts.  I know.  That's stupid, but I couldn't help it.  I tried to make the reviews I wrote or really anything I did here sound and look as perfect as it could be.  And in trying to do that, I feel like everything I write or do here just sounds "artificial." I feel like a robot is spewing out everything I write and not me.  I have always had a hard time expressing how I feel about something, but that wasn't the case with books. 

However, in my need to make everything look and sound perfect, I put pressure on myself and practically made it impossible for me to enjoy blogging like I used to. I know that doesn't really make much sense, but what I am trying to say is that I focused on and worried more about what people thinks of my blog and my writing, than I actually did on blogging. 

I also ended up turning everything strictly book related, as in my posts were nothing but reviews, book blitz, or book tours, etc.  There weren't anything extra or fun or anything that really let me interact with other readers and bloggers, which was one of the reasons why I had started this blog in the first place.  And in doing that I made blogging feel more like a burden instead of something I love.

In the other post I did back in January, I said that I would try harder to change that.  That I was going to stop worrying about what people thought and just focus on doing what I loved.  Clearly, I have failed at that.  But I promise that this time around I am really going to change that. 

I know I have neglected my blog for a long time and I really hate doing that.  I know I have a tendency to just disappear for a while and when I do come back to blog, it's mostly just review posts.  Granted, sometimes when I have disappeared it wasn't by choice but because I had so much work and was really busy with school.  And I can't promise that I won't just disappear again, because I know I will, especially when school starts again in September.  One of the main reasons why I barely updated my blog or posted anything during the past few months was because school was really hectic.  The only time for me to blog was during the weekends, but I got lazy.  Also, like I said before, because of my need to make everything "perfect", blogging had become a burden and I wasn't as motivated to post then. 

But I am going to change all that starting now.  I don't want to neglect my blog anymore and I just want to post stuff without sounding like a robot, but more importantly I want to interact with all of you fellow readers.  I am going to try doing some discussion posts, but I really want to know what you guys would like to read.  What sort of posts would you guys like to see around here?

I know this was an extremely long post, but I just had to get all that out.  Oh, and one last thing.  I want to give a big THANK YOU to everyone who stopped by here even though I was doing a crappy job at updating my blog, and to everyone who left a comment.  I know I have said this a million times, but I truly do appreciate your comments!  I love reading them and they have really helped encourage me to continue blogging, especially these past few months, so THANK YOU!! :D 

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